Recently we had quite a barrage of storms pass through, one which briefly knocked out the power in my apartment. As I fumbled in the darkness I got to thinking about all the things one can do when the power goes out:
1. Play hide and go seek with flashlights. For super-seekers, ditch the flashlights and hone your night-vision.
2. Build a fire and make s'mores. Make mine with white chocolate and cinnamon grahams please.
3. Tell ghost stories. Nothing scares my socks off like a scary story. Use the flashlight under your chin for extra effects!
4. Take a hike! Hit the trails for a little midnight hike by moonlight.
5. Stargaze. Usually a difficult task so close to the cities but with the power out, the stars get a chance to shine.
Press on.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
...and I will try to fix you
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Gotta love a little Coldplay once in awhile.
Have you ever tried to take something apart in order to put it back together again? I wonder if that's how our minds work. Something happens in our life that takes us apart, scattering pieces here and there. Once you think you've got everything put back together again you notice a few rogue pieces that didn't make it. What's puzzling is that our mind continues to function sans rogues. How difficult it is to discard erroneous pieces! Our first instinct is to break apart and make it work no matter what. We forget that our minds are designed to change, to adapt and thrive despite the addition or subtraction of various pieces.
And so we choose to force unnecessary breakage and get hung up in the details or we adapt and function without our previous hang-ups.
Any thoughts?
Press on.
Friday, February 13, 2009
V-Day doesn't have to be a downer...
So hey, in case you haven't noticed, Valentine's Day is tomorrow. For those of you in Love this is probably a day you are looking forward to; for those of you who are single or "on a break" this day can be daunting, depressing, and downright dismal. Good thing I have compiled a list of things to do instead of shooting yourself in the face on this, the finest of "Hallmark Holidays:"
1) Volunteer! Nothing will get you feeling better than making a difference in the lives of others. Here are some ideas:
-Feeling creative? Write a poem about what peace means to you and submit it here. Flowers will be wrapped in poems and distributed in cities throughout the land on V-Day.
-Check out Volunteer Match or google search "volunteer on Valentine's Day" for other opportunities in your area.
-Offer to babysit or spend time with your friend's bundle of joy, a niece or nephew, or your neighbor's "little angel." Nothing will put a smile on your face like the wisdom and antics of a child.
2) Snuggle a furry friend! For those of you with pets this will be easy. For others, check out your local Animal Humane Society or pet shelter (watch the intro it is so cute!) and take a field trip to snuggle the adorable little kitties, bunnies, and puppies! Awww!
3) Make a list of all the people in your life that you Love or have made a positive difference and why. Doesn't have to be elaborate or eloquent. Then call them and tell them about it (or text, e-mail, facebook, blog, etc.). Even if they aren't single on V-Day, I bet they will appreciate hearing from you and you will feel better knowing you are surrounded by Love. *One caveat: DO NOT call your ex-bf/gf/lover if the relationship is over. Focus on friends and family.
4) Clean out your closet and donate un-used items to ARC (in Richfield, MN) or your local Goodwill. You will have contributed to the well-being of others and you will have a clean closet!
5) Listen to up-beat "Happy" music. Dance around your house. Sing along. Refrain from turning on the radio, as most stations are likely to be playing a marathon of sappy Love songs.
6) Offer to cook dinner for another single friend or friends. Go easy on the wine, but heavy on the Love. This doesn't have to be elaborate; your friends will appreciate the food and you will appreciate the company. For those of you who don't cook there's always take-out or delivery!
7) GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! There is nothing worse than sitting at home alone on V-Day, listening to sappy Love songs, and wondering if you will be alone forever. Go for a hike, attend a local play/concert/event, or volunteer (see #1).
8) For those of you who are single, there is no better day to assure the availability of others than to hit the town on V-Day. Avoid anyone with doe-eyes and you should be money. If you are just looking to hook-up please don't forget Nirodh (this video is HILARIOUS, btw). I do not suggest hooking up if you are "on a break," remember that one Friend's episode?
9) Be happy you are not one of the unfortunate recipients of chocolate today. Blasphemy? No way! Did you know the production of chocolate relies on three fungi? Ewww! Check it out!
10) Finally, take my poll! For those of you reading from facebook, visit my blog and take the poll. Let me know what YOU are doing on V-Day so I can live vicariously :)
So that's it kids. Remember, this doesn't have to be the day you shoot yourself in the face. There are plenty of other ways to pass the time that are a tad more productive and conducive to living. If I missed anything please post a comment to share!
Press on.
1) Volunteer! Nothing will get you feeling better than making a difference in the lives of others. Here are some ideas:
-Feeling creative? Write a poem about what peace means to you and submit it here. Flowers will be wrapped in poems and distributed in cities throughout the land on V-Day.
-Check out Volunteer Match or google search "volunteer on Valentine's Day" for other opportunities in your area.
-Offer to babysit or spend time with your friend's bundle of joy, a niece or nephew, or your neighbor's "little angel." Nothing will put a smile on your face like the wisdom and antics of a child.
2) Snuggle a furry friend! For those of you with pets this will be easy. For others, check out your local Animal Humane Society or pet shelter (watch the intro it is so cute!) and take a field trip to snuggle the adorable little kitties, bunnies, and puppies! Awww!
3) Make a list of all the people in your life that you Love or have made a positive difference and why. Doesn't have to be elaborate or eloquent. Then call them and tell them about it (or text, e-mail, facebook, blog, etc.). Even if they aren't single on V-Day, I bet they will appreciate hearing from you and you will feel better knowing you are surrounded by Love. *One caveat: DO NOT call your ex-bf/gf/lover if the relationship is over. Focus on friends and family.
4) Clean out your closet and donate un-used items to ARC (in Richfield, MN) or your local Goodwill. You will have contributed to the well-being of others and you will have a clean closet!
5) Listen to up-beat "Happy" music. Dance around your house. Sing along. Refrain from turning on the radio, as most stations are likely to be playing a marathon of sappy Love songs.
6) Offer to cook dinner for another single friend or friends. Go easy on the wine, but heavy on the Love. This doesn't have to be elaborate; your friends will appreciate the food and you will appreciate the company. For those of you who don't cook there's always take-out or delivery!
7) GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! There is nothing worse than sitting at home alone on V-Day, listening to sappy Love songs, and wondering if you will be alone forever. Go for a hike, attend a local play/concert/event, or volunteer (see #1).
8) For those of you who are single, there is no better day to assure the availability of others than to hit the town on V-Day. Avoid anyone with doe-eyes and you should be money. If you are just looking to hook-up please don't forget Nirodh (this video is HILARIOUS, btw). I do not suggest hooking up if you are "on a break," remember that one Friend's episode?
9) Be happy you are not one of the unfortunate recipients of chocolate today. Blasphemy? No way! Did you know the production of chocolate relies on three fungi? Ewww! Check it out!
10) Finally, take my poll! For those of you reading from facebook, visit my blog and take the poll. Let me know what YOU are doing on V-Day so I can live vicariously :)
So that's it kids. Remember, this doesn't have to be the day you shoot yourself in the face. There are plenty of other ways to pass the time that are a tad more productive and conducive to living. If I missed anything please post a comment to share!
Press on.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
dear downstairs neightbors...
Dear downstairs neighbors,
It smells like Phish fans and Snoop Dogg having a party at Cheech & Chong's.
From upstairs and down the hall.
Clove cigarettes do not cancel out the smell of weed.
Nor does spraying nauseating amounts of Febreze outside your door.
Just Say No.
Thank you.
Press on.
It smells like Phish fans and Snoop Dogg having a party at Cheech & Chong's.
From upstairs and down the hall.
Clove cigarettes do not cancel out the smell of weed.
Nor does spraying nauseating amounts of Febreze outside your door.
Just Say No.
Thank you.
Press on.
The wild, weird, & wacky world of microbes!
So I am taking microbiology this semester and am learning about the wild, weird, and wacky world of microbes. Who knew that bacteria was so...fascinating! Did you know we all have eye mites? How cool is it that we all have E. coli? Yes, everyone has it, just not the serotype O157:H7 that causes all sorts of nasties.
We are now starting to look at some of the smaller living things (but not as small as microbes) and I am particularly fascinated by worms! The latest fruits of independent, Internet time-wasting...AKA "research" include this: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/22529 little ditty about some of the strangest worms. While hardly cute, fuzzy, or pretty to look at under a microscope (like Staphylococcus aureus http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staphylococcus_aureus) I'd say they are a pretty interesting group of beasties.
That is all.
Press on.
We are now starting to look at some of the smaller living things (but not as small as microbes) and I am particularly fascinated by worms! The latest fruits of independent, Internet time-wasting...AKA "research" include this: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/22529 little ditty about some of the strangest worms. While hardly cute, fuzzy, or pretty to look at under a microscope (like Staphylococcus aureus http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staphylococcus_aureus) I'd say they are a pretty interesting group of beasties.
That is all.
Press on.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
25 Things You Never Wanted to Know About Stiles
...but here they are anyway:
1. I will do anything for my family and friends, even at my own expense (but please see #9 before you ask).
2. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat anything with a mommy.
3. Despite having extensive documentation of my intelligence, I am incredibly forgetful. Please don't be offended if I forget something about you; I forget things about myself all the time. What was this list about again?
4. I always thought I'd be married with a house and kids by now and am rather disappointed about being 0 for 3.
5. I think the sound of babies crying is one of the sweetest sounds ever. Ask me why sometime.
6. I know all about channel 1. You can ask me about this sometime as well.
7. I don't sleep. Sometimes by choice but mostly because I don't have time. The world won't wait and I can sleep all I want when I'm dead.
8. I am terrible about keeping in touch with people. Really REALLY terrible. If we haven't spoken in awhile it's NOT because I don't think about you or because I don't want to, it's just because I get too busy or I simply forget (see #3). If we haven't spoken in awhile I would *love* to hear from you!
9. I am certified to: save your life, pump you up, and wipe your butt. I will gladly help you with the first two but only under exigent circumstances will I ever wipe your ass.
10. I don't give myself credit for anything ever. Unless my therapist reminds me to do so.
11. If I am still 0 for 3 on #4 in 3 years I'm canning the dream and dedicating my life to medicine (read as going to med school). It's the only way I can continue to justify my existence sans family.
12. I am what a radical feminist looks like.
13. I love me a well-developed pair of gastrocnemius muscles on men or women.
14. I am a nerd in biology lab, a geek at school, and a dork all the time.
15. My favorite bone is the sphenoid bone. It looks like a butterfly and has a Turkish saddle.
16. I've had more surgeries than all your grandparents put together.
17. My idea of a fun vacation includes going to Haiti to work with TB patients, Romania to work with kids in an orphanage, or Chile to do conservation work to save the wild chinchillas. I also wouldn't mind going to a deserted island and spending a week or 5 alone with the ocean.
18. I try really hard not to be disillusioned with life, love, and happiness. Sometimes I fail but I always dust myself off and try again.
19. I am a Ninja.
20. I'm typically not a touchy-feely person but my cousin in the veiny pencil (you know who you are Woo Honky Honk) gives THE BEST heart hugs. My sister Little Wheel is a close second. I look forward to them and wish more people would learn this fabulous skill.
21. If one could legally inject caffeine I would do so.
22. I hope that anyone who actually reads this will post a comment, even if it's just to say "hi."
23. I love lists. I have a list for just about everything. Lists are very helpful when I forget things which I tend to do a lot (have I mentioned #3). Here are some examples: bucket list, traits I am looking for in a significant other, 25 things you never wanted to know, the red flag list, places to go, microbes to gram stain, adventures to have, things to do during my planned spontaneous time...you get the picture.
24. Yes, I plan time to be spontaneous and have a list to consult with various spontaneous activities in which to engage (see #23).
25. No matter how bad things get, I know there is a fire within me that NOTHING and NOBODY can EVER extinguish.
The sum of this list = I am awesome. Anyone who thinks otherwise can suck it :)
1. I will do anything for my family and friends, even at my own expense (but please see #9 before you ask).
2. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat anything with a mommy.
3. Despite having extensive documentation of my intelligence, I am incredibly forgetful. Please don't be offended if I forget something about you; I forget things about myself all the time. What was this list about again?
4. I always thought I'd be married with a house and kids by now and am rather disappointed about being 0 for 3.
5. I think the sound of babies crying is one of the sweetest sounds ever. Ask me why sometime.
6. I know all about channel 1. You can ask me about this sometime as well.
7. I don't sleep. Sometimes by choice but mostly because I don't have time. The world won't wait and I can sleep all I want when I'm dead.
8. I am terrible about keeping in touch with people. Really REALLY terrible. If we haven't spoken in awhile it's NOT because I don't think about you or because I don't want to, it's just because I get too busy or I simply forget (see #3). If we haven't spoken in awhile I would *love* to hear from you!
9. I am certified to: save your life, pump you up, and wipe your butt. I will gladly help you with the first two but only under exigent circumstances will I ever wipe your ass.
10. I don't give myself credit for anything ever. Unless my therapist reminds me to do so.
11. If I am still 0 for 3 on #4 in 3 years I'm canning the dream and dedicating my life to medicine (read as going to med school). It's the only way I can continue to justify my existence sans family.
12. I am what a radical feminist looks like.
13. I love me a well-developed pair of gastrocnemius muscles on men or women.
14. I am a nerd in biology lab, a geek at school, and a dork all the time.
15. My favorite bone is the sphenoid bone. It looks like a butterfly and has a Turkish saddle.
16. I've had more surgeries than all your grandparents put together.
17. My idea of a fun vacation includes going to Haiti to work with TB patients, Romania to work with kids in an orphanage, or Chile to do conservation work to save the wild chinchillas. I also wouldn't mind going to a deserted island and spending a week or 5 alone with the ocean.
18. I try really hard not to be disillusioned with life, love, and happiness. Sometimes I fail but I always dust myself off and try again.
19. I am a Ninja.
20. I'm typically not a touchy-feely person but my cousin in the veiny pencil (you know who you are Woo Honky Honk) gives THE BEST heart hugs. My sister Little Wheel is a close second. I look forward to them and wish more people would learn this fabulous skill.
21. If one could legally inject caffeine I would do so.
22. I hope that anyone who actually reads this will post a comment, even if it's just to say "hi."
23. I love lists. I have a list for just about everything. Lists are very helpful when I forget things which I tend to do a lot (have I mentioned #3). Here are some examples: bucket list, traits I am looking for in a significant other, 25 things you never wanted to know, the red flag list, places to go, microbes to gram stain, adventures to have, things to do during my planned spontaneous time...you get the picture.
24. Yes, I plan time to be spontaneous and have a list to consult with various spontaneous activities in which to engage (see #23).
25. No matter how bad things get, I know there is a fire within me that NOTHING and NOBODY can EVER extinguish.
The sum of this list = I am awesome. Anyone who thinks otherwise can suck it :)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Bruce's chin
I'm pretty sure Bruce Campbell has the greatest chin in Hollywood. It's quite possible he has the greatest chin outside Hollywood as well.
Over the weekend I concluded the swellest week ever with a few stellar events:
1) Seeing "My Name is Bruce" along with his live and in-person chin at the Lagoon.
I first heard about the "Evil Dead" movies in high school. A friend of mine thought "Evil Dead 2" was the greatest film ever made and I had to do some investigation on my own. I, of course, came to a similar conclusion: although it may not be the greatest it is definitely in my Top 10. Once in college I discovered that every Halloween, the Coffmann Union Theater (at the U of MN) played all three flicks back to back...to back! The audience was always quite vocal during these performances and every time I see the movies I retain the urge to shout "Bruce!" at random intervals...
2) Getting my apartment clean (except for one room) and finishing my laundry!
3) Discovering my new most favorite bar, Chatterbox. if you haven't been you must drop everything, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and proceed there immediately. Besides brewing their own beer and having an extensive menu, they have an impressive collection of board games one may check out for free and, for a small charge, an equally impressive selection of Atari, Sega, and original Nintendo games. My socks were definitely rocked!
I am a little over a week away from getting back to karate and running. Damn school is getting in the way of my six-pack! Let's all hope I survive finals week in one piece.
Press on.
Over the weekend I concluded the swellest week ever with a few stellar events:
1) Seeing "My Name is Bruce" along with his live and in-person chin at the Lagoon.
I first heard about the "Evil Dead" movies in high school. A friend of mine thought "Evil Dead 2" was the greatest film ever made and I had to do some investigation on my own. I, of course, came to a similar conclusion: although it may not be the greatest it is definitely in my Top 10. Once in college I discovered that every Halloween, the Coffmann Union Theater (at the U of MN) played all three flicks back to back...to back! The audience was always quite vocal during these performances and every time I see the movies I retain the urge to shout "Bruce!" at random intervals...
2) Getting my apartment clean (except for one room) and finishing my laundry!
3) Discovering my new most favorite bar, Chatterbox. if you haven't been you must drop everything, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and proceed there immediately. Besides brewing their own beer and having an extensive menu, they have an impressive collection of board games one may check out for free and, for a small charge, an equally impressive selection of Atari, Sega, and original Nintendo games. My socks were definitely rocked!
I am a little over a week away from getting back to karate and running. Damn school is getting in the way of my six-pack! Let's all hope I survive finals week in one piece.
Press on.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Swellest Week Ever
Apparently I'm in quite the write-y mood lately so here is an update on the swellest week ever. The best part? It's not even over yet!
Sweet.
So let me count the ways in which it has been swell:
1. Watching Blood Car again.
2. Being reminded how sweet Dylan Hicks is.
3. Watching LOTR while cleaning my apartment.
4. The Vikings kicked some Bear behind on Sunday.
5. Visited the fam and laughed until my sides hurt at all the funny things my 1 1/2 year old nephew was doing.
6. Dancing with my nephew; the kid's got some moves!
7. Getting another 100% on a math test.
8. Singing karaoke at U Otter Stop Inn.
9. Just going to a place called U Otter Stop Inn!
10. Writing a 9 page paper I am rather proud of (see previous entry if you dare).
11. Seeing dead people. Literally.
12. Starting my first IV on one of the nurses brave enough to let me poke her!
13. Did I mention I started an IV? Eat your heart out new-grads, I got mine checked off and I haven't even started yet!
14. Making lists for no reason.
15. Baking Vegan Raspberry Almond Torte Cookies and making my apartment smell of yummy deliciousness.
16. The lecture on the digestive system = saying poop in class and discussing, at length, the "vomit center" located in the 4th ventricle of the brain.
17. Three words: reproductive system lecture. Damn I love anatomy!
18. Discovering 2 new uses for Colgate toothpaste that have nothing to do with teeth!
19. ???
What's next? Well for sure seeing Stace Face and Bruce Campbell on Friday night but I can't wait to find out the rest!
Press on.
Sweet.
So let me count the ways in which it has been swell:
1. Watching Blood Car again.
2. Being reminded how sweet Dylan Hicks is.
3. Watching LOTR while cleaning my apartment.
4. The Vikings kicked some Bear behind on Sunday.
5. Visited the fam and laughed until my sides hurt at all the funny things my 1 1/2 year old nephew was doing.
6. Dancing with my nephew; the kid's got some moves!
7. Getting another 100% on a math test.
8. Singing karaoke at U Otter Stop Inn.
9. Just going to a place called U Otter Stop Inn!
10. Writing a 9 page paper I am rather proud of (see previous entry if you dare).
11. Seeing dead people. Literally.
12. Starting my first IV on one of the nurses brave enough to let me poke her!
13. Did I mention I started an IV? Eat your heart out new-grads, I got mine checked off and I haven't even started yet!
14. Making lists for no reason.
15. Baking Vegan Raspberry Almond Torte Cookies and making my apartment smell of yummy deliciousness.
16. The lecture on the digestive system = saying poop in class and discussing, at length, the "vomit center" located in the 4th ventricle of the brain.
17. Three words: reproductive system lecture. Damn I love anatomy!
18. Discovering 2 new uses for Colgate toothpaste that have nothing to do with teeth!
19. ???
What's next? Well for sure seeing Stace Face and Bruce Campbell on Friday night but I can't wait to find out the rest!
Press on.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
essay fun
Since I labored all weekend and all day on this essay for my cultural anthropology class I thought it prudent to share with y'all. It is 9 pages short. Yes kids, SHORT! I spend the entire day today cutting it down as it was about 12 pages in its original form. Guess how long it was supposed to be? 3-4 pages and/or 750-1000 words. WHAT???!!! That's crazy! How can I possibly write a comprehensive essay in that amount of space? Geez. Let's just hope I don't lose too many points for having a lot to say on what I think is an interesting topic. So here it is, the short SHORT version:
AMERICAN ADAPTATIONS TO TRADITIONAL GENDER RELATIONS AMONG HMONG IMMIGRANTS
INTRODUCTION
American culture is rich with stories of a variety of immigrant populations arriving in pursuit of the “American dream” of wealth and prosperity through hard work. Some immigrants, such as many Hmong, are here not by choice but rather, to escape ethnic persecution in their native land. Many Hmong have escaped their homeland of Laos as political refugees under Communist regime due to their involvement in aiding American forces during the Vietnam War. Since their arrival in America, the Hmong have been forced to undergo many cultural changes. One of the most significant changes is in traditional versus modern gender relations. Traditional Hmong culture views women as inferior to men and many immigrants have trouble adapting to American cultural standards of gender equality. In the book, “I Begin My Life All Over” by Lillian Faderman and Ghia Xiong, the experience of many Hmong immigrants are described in their own words. One section, entitled “Women and Men,” describes in detail some of the difficulties the Hmong have had merging traditional Hmong gender relations with modern American practices. Of note, the practices of kidnap marriage and polygamy have undergone drastic upheavals due to differences in American culture. Unfortunately, while many of the disparities between men and women have begun to erode, progress is not always apparent in the day-to-day domestic life of the American Hmong.
TRADITIONAL HMONG GENDER RELATIONS
Stemming from ancient Hmong folklore, women are thought of as inferior and treated as such in Hmong society. According to legend, the first humans lived in an earthly paradise knowing not the meaning of hard work or death. They relied on the plentiful earth for sustenance and were joyful and content until one day; a woman drank water from a forbidden stream and ate the forbidden white strawberry. Because of this, the first humans were cast out of their paradise forever and forced to toil hard for food and die at the end of their lives. This original sin is inherited by all women and for this they are treated inferior.
Hmong society, reflecting the notion that men are superior, is patriarchal, patrilineal, and patrilocal. Women are not legally considered a person in Laos and therefore may not participate in government or negotiate contracts. Women have no say over when or whom to marry and usually, a “bride piece” is paid to her family in exchange for marriage. Men, his male relatives and the male relatives of his desired bride are the sole negotiators in marriage proceedings. So-called “catch-hand” or kidnap marriages are common where a young girl is kidnapped from her family by a man wishing to marry her. Because a young, virginal bride is desired, her fate is sealed after spending one night with his family and her family usually agrees to the union. Men are permitted to marry multiple wives but women may not marry more than one husband. If a woman wants a divorce, she may initiate one but not without considerable cost to her and her family including the significant loss of reputation within the family and community at large. Her family must also return the bride piece, her husband retains rights to any children, and the woman is considered damaged goods making remarriage difficult.
The inferior status of women permeates well beyond the legal realm. When a girl is born, instead of honoring her placenta as with a boy’s, hers is buried in shame underneath the bed. Education is irrelevant because as soon as a girl marries she no longer contributes to her family of origin. Once married, she is expected to bear many children, especially sons, and take care of her in-laws and their children. Women’s bodies are considered dirty during menstruation and for one month post-partum. They must always walk 5 steps behind men and it is tradition that during meals, men are served first and separate from women.
Changes in traditional gender relations between Hmong men and women began in refugee camps in Thailand. There, financial opportunities previously unavailable in Laos arose for women by selling stitchery. For the first time, women could contribute to the financial security of the family giving them power and a sense of independence. In Laos, it is now possible for women and girls to attend school. Education is a quintessential solution for oppression and ignorance; because of it, women and girls in Laos are now demanding equality.
These changes, and many more, continue here in America as each new generation of Hmong decide which of their traditional ways to keep and which to discard in the name of progress and assimilation. Many Hmong men are unemployed and women have become the sole breadwinners selling needlework. The importance of bearing children is far less due to the financial hardships a large family incurs. Because of American laws, girls are required to earn an education and are not permitted to marry before the age of 16. Daughters are now expected to finish high school before getting married. Modern marriage is not always arranged by relatives or via kidnap. Polygamy may be practiced unofficially, but is not legally recognized.
There is a generational gap regarding attitudes involving change and despite much progress in gender equity, domestic life remains much the same. Newlyweds are still expected to reside with the man’s family and the new bride is expected to care for her in-laws and their family. Strict gender roles in the home are still ingrained as described by participants in the New Year Miss Hmong pageant. When asked about their hobbies, the girls, none of whom desired to be housewives, maintained rather traditional responses:
“’In my spare time I like to help my parents and do work around the house.’ ‘My favorite thing to do when I am not studying is cook for the family.’ My hobby is taking care of children.’” (130)
Each of the participants had aspirations to become career professionals but not one had an identity or expressed interests beyond career and family. Interestingly enough, when probed about their career choices, many responded with a desire not for personal success, but rather, for a chance to financially support her husband or future husband in his dreams and goals.
SPECIFIC ADAPTATIONS TO CATCH-HAND MARRIAGE AND POLYGAMY
Many traditional Hmong relationships between men and women have been adapted to comply with an American culture where feminism and equality are often taken for granted. The adaptation of catch-hand marriages was necessary because kidnapping is illegal in America. Shone Yang, a Hmong immigrant and college student describes an American ramification of this type of marriage:
“Today it is still happening in the United States, but not very much, because the girl or her family calls the police.” (134)
Being thrown in jail is not conducive to marriage so changes had to be made to the old tradition. Unfortunately, when traditions are altered, there are no rules and sometimes things don’t work out as planned. One such situation happened to Phooj Thao (pseudonym) who tried his version of an Americanized catch-hand marriage with another Hmong girl. The two met and fell in love while students at a junior college. Instead of kidnapping her unawares, he asked her to come home with him implying that they would be married. She agreed and upon arrival, Thao announced to his father he had brought home a wife. Unfortunately, upon hearing of her location and intent to marry Thao from his male relatives, the girl’s female relatives arrived to bring her home. After much argument and objection, the girl’s relatives called the police and unfortunately, despite what had been promised to Thao in private, the girl did not openly object to returning home with her relatives. Thao describes the scene that day:
“…she did not say anything to the police, and that was when she let the ladies pull her away. She was crying, but she did not open her mouth.” (142)
Thao never saw her again. In line with traditional Hmong values and in contrast to American culture, a Hmong girl is not always free to choose whom to marry. She desires the choice but will often object in silence as her relatives decide for her. The means by which a marriage is arranged have been modified but ultimately, the family retains the right to decide whom a girl should marry.
Another necessary adaptation of traditional Hmong gender relations is in the practice of polygamous marriages. Because it is illegal, immigrants with multiple wives must legally unwed all but one. Because of this, it is accepted in Hmong culture for men, not women, to have extra-marital affairs. Sometimes, a man will unofficially marry more than one woman. Elizabeth Mee Vang’s husband wanted to do just that but she vehemently objected. She describes how hurtful and hypocritical this practice is and wishes Hmong men would consider the feelings of the women they hurt:
“I would just like for men to see us women having two husbands, and then see how they feel. Men are the most jealous of all. They get mad at you even if you’re just talking to your cousin who happens to be a man, if they don’t know him.” (144)
This double-standard is frustrating to Vang who wants desperately to be seen and treated as an equal. American standards of equality, while encouraging for women such as Vang, have presented Hmong men with the challenge of understanding their oppressive behaviors and sometimes forcing them to make adjustments. Vietnam War veteran Soua Teng Vang (no relation to Elizabeth Mee Vang) thinks his worst problem after arriving in America is not being able to control his wife. He has been arrested many times after his wife has called the police during arguments and has trouble understanding why women are “given” so many rights in America. He thinks men are dying in their sleep because they are too stressed over the upheaval in gender relations:
“It seems like anything I do I could get in trouble for. I guess this might be one of the reasons why our Hmong men die in our sleep, why we have sudden death syndrome. First we had a tragic war, and now our young men can’t really deal with the change in our caste system.” (146)
Faderman and Xiong describe this syndrome as Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome. According to their book, it occurs among otherwise healthy immigrant men. Neither the authors nor Soua Teng Vang provide information beyond speculation as to the real epidemiology of this illness.
While many other necessary adaptations to traditional Hmong culture exist, the changes required for kidnap marriage and polygamy were enforced immediately due to laws banning such practices here in America. This made change inevitable simply to enter the country and to function as a law-abiding citizen.
CONCLUSION
Immigrants from every corner of the world come to America seeking a better life. Whether the choice is voluntary or not, each immigrant must deal with issues in merging the culture from whence they came and the unique culture that exists in their new home. For the Hmong, a big challenge must be overcome as traditional gender relations regarding women as inferior clash with modern ideas of feminism. Long-held beliefs that women are not equal to men are challenged and ultimately doomed. The practices of catch-hand marriages and polygamy are especially troublesome as each carries legal consequences in America therefore making change necessary and sudden. Adaptations are needed as each generation struggles to find an identity in an ever-evolving society. While change may seem drastic to first-generation Hmong, it can seem tedious and slow to second and third-generation immigrants who find that little has changed in domestic life. Mai Xiong (pseudonym) describes just how little things have changed from the time her parents were in Laos to the present where she, as a daughter-in-law, is still expected to do all the cooking and cleaning for her husband’s family despite her busy school schedule. In essence, she has two full-time jobs with no expectation of help from her husband or anyone else in his family. The burden is hers and hers alone. Compounding this is the fact that men are still required to eat before the women, thus doubling her work at dinner-time leaving her little time for her studies. Her situation punctuates the fact that the Hmong have a long way to go before women are truly seen and treated as equal to men. There is hope, as Ia Vang Xiong’s father states:
“’At this time and age it makes no difference whether she’s a girl. Here in America there is no difference.’” (163)
As a first-generation immigrant this statement provides a glimmer of hope that change involving gender relations, while necessary, is possible even in the eyes of men.
POSTSCRIPT
I learned a lot during the process of this essay. It was interesting and heart-wrenching to read more about the history of the Vietnam War and Hmong involvement with American troops. I did not realize the extent of their involvement, with as many as 50% of the adult male population dying in the name of America only to be shunned and kept hidden from the society they died to represent.
As a pre-nursing student I questioned the validity of statements made regarding Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome and came across an interesting article in the International Journal of Epidemiology (cited below). According to the article by Goh, Chao, Heng, Koo, and Poh entitled “Epidemiology of Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome among Thai Migrant Workers in Singapore” the cause of the syndrome is actually attributed to anomalies in the conduction system of the heart, not unruly wives or stress involving gender relations. If what Vang thought were true, men of all backgrounds would be dying left and right.
Finally, as an American woman growing up in the so-called “post-Feminist era,” I find it appalling that women are treated with such disdain and hatred. It angers me that we are still considered less-than our male counterparts in Hmong culture. It is also fascinating to see how much American gender relations have changed in a single generation and how much progress has yet to be made. I think that despite the unfortunate circumstances of their arrival, and the hardships that must be endured in order to change long-held ideologies about gender relations, the Hmong are making significant progress but like us, still have a long way to go.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
L FADERMAN, with G XIONG
I Begin My Life All Over
K T GOH, T C CHAO, B H HENG, C C KOO, and S C POH
Epidemiology of Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome among Thai Migrant Workers in Singapore
Int. J. Epidemiol. 22: 88-95.
---
Press on.
AMERICAN ADAPTATIONS TO TRADITIONAL GENDER RELATIONS AMONG HMONG IMMIGRANTS
INTRODUCTION
American culture is rich with stories of a variety of immigrant populations arriving in pursuit of the “American dream” of wealth and prosperity through hard work. Some immigrants, such as many Hmong, are here not by choice but rather, to escape ethnic persecution in their native land. Many Hmong have escaped their homeland of Laos as political refugees under Communist regime due to their involvement in aiding American forces during the Vietnam War. Since their arrival in America, the Hmong have been forced to undergo many cultural changes. One of the most significant changes is in traditional versus modern gender relations. Traditional Hmong culture views women as inferior to men and many immigrants have trouble adapting to American cultural standards of gender equality. In the book, “I Begin My Life All Over” by Lillian Faderman and Ghia Xiong, the experience of many Hmong immigrants are described in their own words. One section, entitled “Women and Men,” describes in detail some of the difficulties the Hmong have had merging traditional Hmong gender relations with modern American practices. Of note, the practices of kidnap marriage and polygamy have undergone drastic upheavals due to differences in American culture. Unfortunately, while many of the disparities between men and women have begun to erode, progress is not always apparent in the day-to-day domestic life of the American Hmong.
TRADITIONAL HMONG GENDER RELATIONS
Stemming from ancient Hmong folklore, women are thought of as inferior and treated as such in Hmong society. According to legend, the first humans lived in an earthly paradise knowing not the meaning of hard work or death. They relied on the plentiful earth for sustenance and were joyful and content until one day; a woman drank water from a forbidden stream and ate the forbidden white strawberry. Because of this, the first humans were cast out of their paradise forever and forced to toil hard for food and die at the end of their lives. This original sin is inherited by all women and for this they are treated inferior.
Hmong society, reflecting the notion that men are superior, is patriarchal, patrilineal, and patrilocal. Women are not legally considered a person in Laos and therefore may not participate in government or negotiate contracts. Women have no say over when or whom to marry and usually, a “bride piece” is paid to her family in exchange for marriage. Men, his male relatives and the male relatives of his desired bride are the sole negotiators in marriage proceedings. So-called “catch-hand” or kidnap marriages are common where a young girl is kidnapped from her family by a man wishing to marry her. Because a young, virginal bride is desired, her fate is sealed after spending one night with his family and her family usually agrees to the union. Men are permitted to marry multiple wives but women may not marry more than one husband. If a woman wants a divorce, she may initiate one but not without considerable cost to her and her family including the significant loss of reputation within the family and community at large. Her family must also return the bride piece, her husband retains rights to any children, and the woman is considered damaged goods making remarriage difficult.
The inferior status of women permeates well beyond the legal realm. When a girl is born, instead of honoring her placenta as with a boy’s, hers is buried in shame underneath the bed. Education is irrelevant because as soon as a girl marries she no longer contributes to her family of origin. Once married, she is expected to bear many children, especially sons, and take care of her in-laws and their children. Women’s bodies are considered dirty during menstruation and for one month post-partum. They must always walk 5 steps behind men and it is tradition that during meals, men are served first and separate from women.
Changes in traditional gender relations between Hmong men and women began in refugee camps in Thailand. There, financial opportunities previously unavailable in Laos arose for women by selling stitchery. For the first time, women could contribute to the financial security of the family giving them power and a sense of independence. In Laos, it is now possible for women and girls to attend school. Education is a quintessential solution for oppression and ignorance; because of it, women and girls in Laos are now demanding equality.
These changes, and many more, continue here in America as each new generation of Hmong decide which of their traditional ways to keep and which to discard in the name of progress and assimilation. Many Hmong men are unemployed and women have become the sole breadwinners selling needlework. The importance of bearing children is far less due to the financial hardships a large family incurs. Because of American laws, girls are required to earn an education and are not permitted to marry before the age of 16. Daughters are now expected to finish high school before getting married. Modern marriage is not always arranged by relatives or via kidnap. Polygamy may be practiced unofficially, but is not legally recognized.
There is a generational gap regarding attitudes involving change and despite much progress in gender equity, domestic life remains much the same. Newlyweds are still expected to reside with the man’s family and the new bride is expected to care for her in-laws and their family. Strict gender roles in the home are still ingrained as described by participants in the New Year Miss Hmong pageant. When asked about their hobbies, the girls, none of whom desired to be housewives, maintained rather traditional responses:
“’In my spare time I like to help my parents and do work around the house.’ ‘My favorite thing to do when I am not studying is cook for the family.’ My hobby is taking care of children.’” (130)
Each of the participants had aspirations to become career professionals but not one had an identity or expressed interests beyond career and family. Interestingly enough, when probed about their career choices, many responded with a desire not for personal success, but rather, for a chance to financially support her husband or future husband in his dreams and goals.
SPECIFIC ADAPTATIONS TO CATCH-HAND MARRIAGE AND POLYGAMY
Many traditional Hmong relationships between men and women have been adapted to comply with an American culture where feminism and equality are often taken for granted. The adaptation of catch-hand marriages was necessary because kidnapping is illegal in America. Shone Yang, a Hmong immigrant and college student describes an American ramification of this type of marriage:
“Today it is still happening in the United States, but not very much, because the girl or her family calls the police.” (134)
Being thrown in jail is not conducive to marriage so changes had to be made to the old tradition. Unfortunately, when traditions are altered, there are no rules and sometimes things don’t work out as planned. One such situation happened to Phooj Thao (pseudonym) who tried his version of an Americanized catch-hand marriage with another Hmong girl. The two met and fell in love while students at a junior college. Instead of kidnapping her unawares, he asked her to come home with him implying that they would be married. She agreed and upon arrival, Thao announced to his father he had brought home a wife. Unfortunately, upon hearing of her location and intent to marry Thao from his male relatives, the girl’s female relatives arrived to bring her home. After much argument and objection, the girl’s relatives called the police and unfortunately, despite what had been promised to Thao in private, the girl did not openly object to returning home with her relatives. Thao describes the scene that day:
“…she did not say anything to the police, and that was when she let the ladies pull her away. She was crying, but she did not open her mouth.” (142)
Thao never saw her again. In line with traditional Hmong values and in contrast to American culture, a Hmong girl is not always free to choose whom to marry. She desires the choice but will often object in silence as her relatives decide for her. The means by which a marriage is arranged have been modified but ultimately, the family retains the right to decide whom a girl should marry.
Another necessary adaptation of traditional Hmong gender relations is in the practice of polygamous marriages. Because it is illegal, immigrants with multiple wives must legally unwed all but one. Because of this, it is accepted in Hmong culture for men, not women, to have extra-marital affairs. Sometimes, a man will unofficially marry more than one woman. Elizabeth Mee Vang’s husband wanted to do just that but she vehemently objected. She describes how hurtful and hypocritical this practice is and wishes Hmong men would consider the feelings of the women they hurt:
“I would just like for men to see us women having two husbands, and then see how they feel. Men are the most jealous of all. They get mad at you even if you’re just talking to your cousin who happens to be a man, if they don’t know him.” (144)
This double-standard is frustrating to Vang who wants desperately to be seen and treated as an equal. American standards of equality, while encouraging for women such as Vang, have presented Hmong men with the challenge of understanding their oppressive behaviors and sometimes forcing them to make adjustments. Vietnam War veteran Soua Teng Vang (no relation to Elizabeth Mee Vang) thinks his worst problem after arriving in America is not being able to control his wife. He has been arrested many times after his wife has called the police during arguments and has trouble understanding why women are “given” so many rights in America. He thinks men are dying in their sleep because they are too stressed over the upheaval in gender relations:
“It seems like anything I do I could get in trouble for. I guess this might be one of the reasons why our Hmong men die in our sleep, why we have sudden death syndrome. First we had a tragic war, and now our young men can’t really deal with the change in our caste system.” (146)
Faderman and Xiong describe this syndrome as Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome. According to their book, it occurs among otherwise healthy immigrant men. Neither the authors nor Soua Teng Vang provide information beyond speculation as to the real epidemiology of this illness.
While many other necessary adaptations to traditional Hmong culture exist, the changes required for kidnap marriage and polygamy were enforced immediately due to laws banning such practices here in America. This made change inevitable simply to enter the country and to function as a law-abiding citizen.
CONCLUSION
Immigrants from every corner of the world come to America seeking a better life. Whether the choice is voluntary or not, each immigrant must deal with issues in merging the culture from whence they came and the unique culture that exists in their new home. For the Hmong, a big challenge must be overcome as traditional gender relations regarding women as inferior clash with modern ideas of feminism. Long-held beliefs that women are not equal to men are challenged and ultimately doomed. The practices of catch-hand marriages and polygamy are especially troublesome as each carries legal consequences in America therefore making change necessary and sudden. Adaptations are needed as each generation struggles to find an identity in an ever-evolving society. While change may seem drastic to first-generation Hmong, it can seem tedious and slow to second and third-generation immigrants who find that little has changed in domestic life. Mai Xiong (pseudonym) describes just how little things have changed from the time her parents were in Laos to the present where she, as a daughter-in-law, is still expected to do all the cooking and cleaning for her husband’s family despite her busy school schedule. In essence, she has two full-time jobs with no expectation of help from her husband or anyone else in his family. The burden is hers and hers alone. Compounding this is the fact that men are still required to eat before the women, thus doubling her work at dinner-time leaving her little time for her studies. Her situation punctuates the fact that the Hmong have a long way to go before women are truly seen and treated as equal to men. There is hope, as Ia Vang Xiong’s father states:
“’At this time and age it makes no difference whether she’s a girl. Here in America there is no difference.’” (163)
As a first-generation immigrant this statement provides a glimmer of hope that change involving gender relations, while necessary, is possible even in the eyes of men.
POSTSCRIPT
I learned a lot during the process of this essay. It was interesting and heart-wrenching to read more about the history of the Vietnam War and Hmong involvement with American troops. I did not realize the extent of their involvement, with as many as 50% of the adult male population dying in the name of America only to be shunned and kept hidden from the society they died to represent.
As a pre-nursing student I questioned the validity of statements made regarding Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome and came across an interesting article in the International Journal of Epidemiology (cited below). According to the article by Goh, Chao, Heng, Koo, and Poh entitled “Epidemiology of Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome among Thai Migrant Workers in Singapore” the cause of the syndrome is actually attributed to anomalies in the conduction system of the heart, not unruly wives or stress involving gender relations. If what Vang thought were true, men of all backgrounds would be dying left and right.
Finally, as an American woman growing up in the so-called “post-Feminist era,” I find it appalling that women are treated with such disdain and hatred. It angers me that we are still considered less-than our male counterparts in Hmong culture. It is also fascinating to see how much American gender relations have changed in a single generation and how much progress has yet to be made. I think that despite the unfortunate circumstances of their arrival, and the hardships that must be endured in order to change long-held ideologies about gender relations, the Hmong are making significant progress but like us, still have a long way to go.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
L FADERMAN, with G XIONG
I Begin My Life All Over
K T GOH, T C CHAO, B H HENG, C C KOO, and S C POH
Epidemiology of Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome among Thai Migrant Workers in Singapore
Int. J. Epidemiol. 22: 88-95.
---
Press on.
Monday, December 1, 2008
ennui
I am being rather productive with my time here tonight. So far I have made a dent in my cultural anthropology essay on american adaptations to traditional gender relations among hmong immigrants (try saying that one 3 times fast), completed a chapter for math class, and taken a bunch of useless personality tests from youniverse.com! Here are the results:
Art: Eyes Wide Open
Movies: Thinker
Party: Home Bird
Mind: The Reformer
Dating: Bashful Blusher
Personality: Dreamer
Love: Love Magnet
Travel: Nature-Lover
Well-Being: Don't Worry Be Happy
Light My Fire: Romantic
Eenteresting. So if you're ever at work and are looking for a time-waster and facebook is blocked, be sure to check out that site. It seems fairly accurate, even though I will never admit out loud that I am romantic! At least not in the traditional flowers and chocolates sort of way. Ick.
I really hope things pick up around here or I might be forced to sneak out my DS...
Press on.
Art: Eyes Wide Open
Movies: Thinker
Party: Home Bird
Mind: The Reformer
Dating: Bashful Blusher
Personality: Dreamer
Love: Love Magnet
Travel: Nature-Lover
Well-Being: Don't Worry Be Happy
Light My Fire: Romantic
Eenteresting. So if you're ever at work and are looking for a time-waster and facebook is blocked, be sure to check out that site. It seems fairly accurate, even though I will never admit out loud that I am romantic! At least not in the traditional flowers and chocolates sort of way. Ick.
I really hope things pick up around here or I might be forced to sneak out my DS...
Press on.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Ninja skillz
So I finally got to compete after being out for almost an entire year. My legs held up pretty well considering I've only been back a short time. I still have zero timing in sparring and I don't trust my front leg yet but that will come.
It was great being back with all my tournament crew. Kinda like going to a family reunion, people would come up to me and say hi that I haven't seen in forever and it's just like old times. Made me feel accepted and...well...like I fit in, I guess. Very nice.
I surprised myself with how well I placed. Here I was going into the tournament thinking I sucked and I go and win all three of my divisions. I beat a formidable foe in the grand championship run-offs only to lose the final GC match. I'm ok with it, though, because I know that as soon as my front leg is back to normal I won't lose again. I won the overall form grand championship and was welcomed rather nicely to the "big girl" division by my fellow competitors.
Overall, an A+ day.
I have lots to improve on before Diamond Nationals next month but I'm confident I'll make the necessary adjustments and continue to improve. Man I love to compete!
My legs are a bit sore and my incision sites are rather swollen so it's time to throw some ice on those bad boys and hunker down for a long night of studying. Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I don't work my ass off for that GPA. And yes, in case you were wondering, it is a 4.0 thankyouverymuch.
Press on.
It was great being back with all my tournament crew. Kinda like going to a family reunion, people would come up to me and say hi that I haven't seen in forever and it's just like old times. Made me feel accepted and...well...like I fit in, I guess. Very nice.
I surprised myself with how well I placed. Here I was going into the tournament thinking I sucked and I go and win all three of my divisions. I beat a formidable foe in the grand championship run-offs only to lose the final GC match. I'm ok with it, though, because I know that as soon as my front leg is back to normal I won't lose again. I won the overall form grand championship and was welcomed rather nicely to the "big girl" division by my fellow competitors.
Overall, an A+ day.
I have lots to improve on before Diamond Nationals next month but I'm confident I'll make the necessary adjustments and continue to improve. Man I love to compete!
My legs are a bit sore and my incision sites are rather swollen so it's time to throw some ice on those bad boys and hunker down for a long night of studying. Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I don't work my ass off for that GPA. And yes, in case you were wondering, it is a 4.0 thankyouverymuch.
Press on.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Kitty Crazies
My kitty went insane today. More than usual, that is. Every day she takes about 5 minutes or so to work out her kitty crazies. She bolts around the house like she's on fire making all kinds of strange noises and just as quickly as she began, she stops and resumes her normal activities (sleeping and causing trouble). Today her crazies lasted all afternoon while I was trying to get some sleep before work tonight. I didn't get much and I'm feeling it now.
As I opened the door of my apartment to head out to work a little black and white blur flew by my feet and scampered full-throttle down the hall. Annie Kitty had made a break for it! I dropped everything and ran after her. She made it all the way down the hall to the elevator when I finally caught up with her and she did everything she could to avoid capture. Once I finally nabbed her she moved her limbs round and round in a futile attempt to flee. I held fast and earned a nice long scratch on my arm for the effort.
Who knows what kind of kitty trouble she is up to in that apartment while I am here at work hoping this gash in my arm doesn't turn into cat-scratch fever. I won't find out until tomorrow afternoon because I have school immediately following work. Hopefully all will be well and her crazies will have worked themselves out without too much disaster.
Press on.
As I opened the door of my apartment to head out to work a little black and white blur flew by my feet and scampered full-throttle down the hall. Annie Kitty had made a break for it! I dropped everything and ran after her. She made it all the way down the hall to the elevator when I finally caught up with her and she did everything she could to avoid capture. Once I finally nabbed her she moved her limbs round and round in a futile attempt to flee. I held fast and earned a nice long scratch on my arm for the effort.
Who knows what kind of kitty trouble she is up to in that apartment while I am here at work hoping this gash in my arm doesn't turn into cat-scratch fever. I won't find out until tomorrow afternoon because I have school immediately following work. Hopefully all will be well and her crazies will have worked themselves out without too much disaster.
Press on.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Are we there yet?
So I just signed up for the Leadership! Program at school and applied for Phi Theta Kappa AND for a volunteer position at a local battered women's shelter. As if 5 classes, working full time, and doing karate weren't enough. I like being busy. I feel useful and productive. With my chosen activities I also feel like I am contributing something positive to the universe to counter-balance all the C-R-A-P out there. Seriously, I should really stop flipping channels altogether and just outright ignore stupid people who's only goal in life is to "party" or become a "player." Sheesh. As if there weren't enough stupid people on the planet our culture seems hell-bent on rotting all our brains. I mean really, do I care who threw the biggest party, who wore what, and how about the latest . Just put a gun to my head now, please.
Can you tell I'm a bit...perturbed lately? I am so sick of the dishonesty, lack of integrity, bullshit, and inaneness in people these days. For some reason it pisses me off to no end. People treat others like shit, take their priveleged lives for granted, and carry on with no regard for anyone but themselves. Am I the only one who notices this? Am I the only one wasting energy on being angry about it all? Am I alone in wanting to move to Mallorca and disappear from our dispicable state of ignorance for good?
Press on.
Can you tell I'm a bit...perturbed lately? I am so sick of the dishonesty, lack of integrity, bullshit, and inaneness in people these days. For some reason it pisses me off to no end. People treat others like shit, take their priveleged lives for granted, and carry on with no regard for anyone but themselves. Am I the only one who notices this? Am I the only one wasting energy on being angry about it all? Am I alone in wanting to move to Mallorca and disappear from our dispicable state of ignorance for good?
Press on.
Monday, August 25, 2008
my weekend in a nutshell
Confused Patient: Help me! Help me!
Nurse: What can I help you with sweetie?
Confused Patient: Help, I'm sick and I've gotta get to the hospital!
Nurse: You are in the hospital dear.
Confused Patient: Oh no! I gotta get outta here!
Nurse: You need to stay here until you get better.
Confused Patient: Well then get me some beer!
Nurse: I'm sorry I can't do that.
Confused Patient: Well damn it all!
Press on.
Nurse: What can I help you with sweetie?
Confused Patient: Help, I'm sick and I've gotta get to the hospital!
Nurse: You are in the hospital dear.
Confused Patient: Oh no! I gotta get outta here!
Nurse: You need to stay here until you get better.
Confused Patient: Well then get me some beer!
Nurse: I'm sorry I can't do that.
Confused Patient: Well damn it all!
Press on.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
murder, mayhem, and madness
Perhaps I've been watching too much Law and Order lately, or maybe it's the book I just finished "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" but I have been having the most vicious dreams about all kinds of ways to murder people. Shocking, I know. Yesterday I fitfully awoke, drenched in sweat after slicing up someone as I laughed and laughed and laughed. Each carve was meticulously rendered and laid out as if to showcase each and every transgression. My slowly dying subject simply watched in silent agreement, as if knowing that he deserved it. With each cut of my blade I knew that he did.
Have I finally lost it?
Perhaps it's time to start fighting more often. Obviously I have some aggression that needs to work its way out of my system. I am fearful of sleep this morning but will eventually relenquish myself to its menacing grips.
Press on.
Have I finally lost it?
Perhaps it's time to start fighting more often. Obviously I have some aggression that needs to work its way out of my system. I am fearful of sleep this morning but will eventually relenquish myself to its menacing grips.
Press on.
Monday, August 18, 2008
meh
Dear blog, it has been 13 says since my last entry. Since that time I have run, been to karate, worked like a madwoman, and become a Champion of Norrath...twice. What is my penance?
Let's start with one entry at a time.
I have been rather uninspired as of late which makes it difficult to write. When I feel as though I am doing nothing of note it is hard to get the oomph to...note it.
I was very excited to get back in the karate classroom and teach about a week ago. I even taught the tots and had a blast! It's amazing how much I missed being in front of students and I jumped at the chance to help J out at his school. If money weren't an issue I would be back as an instructor in a heartbeat.
Running has also gone quite well. I am up to 30 minutes three times per week and am doing it pain-free! It is so amazing to me the difference surgery has made in how I feel every time I take a step out there. I get all giddy just thinking about my next run. The dread is gone and the sledgehammers have finally subsided! My goal is to run Grandma's or TC next year. It all depends on my Italy trip and how that will affect my training. Either way I will officially become a marathoner by the end of 2009. Yay!
Been on a few more dates lately and I have to say, if what I've experienced is all the dating pool has to offer then I'll be staying dry thankyouverymuch. I am entirely fed up with the whole process and can't wait until school starts when I'll be too busy to even think about wasting my time with this rubbish.
Well, it's off to bed for me. Got to catch a few hours of sleep before hitting the pavement this morning for my Monday run. If anybody has any topic requests, throw them my way! I'd be happy to indulge and it may help me through this writing slump.
Press on.
Let's start with one entry at a time.
I have been rather uninspired as of late which makes it difficult to write. When I feel as though I am doing nothing of note it is hard to get the oomph to...note it.
I was very excited to get back in the karate classroom and teach about a week ago. I even taught the tots and had a blast! It's amazing how much I missed being in front of students and I jumped at the chance to help J out at his school. If money weren't an issue I would be back as an instructor in a heartbeat.
Running has also gone quite well. I am up to 30 minutes three times per week and am doing it pain-free! It is so amazing to me the difference surgery has made in how I feel every time I take a step out there. I get all giddy just thinking about my next run. The dread is gone and the sledgehammers have finally subsided! My goal is to run Grandma's or TC next year. It all depends on my Italy trip and how that will affect my training. Either way I will officially become a marathoner by the end of 2009. Yay!
Been on a few more dates lately and I have to say, if what I've experienced is all the dating pool has to offer then I'll be staying dry thankyouverymuch. I am entirely fed up with the whole process and can't wait until school starts when I'll be too busy to even think about wasting my time with this rubbish.
Well, it's off to bed for me. Got to catch a few hours of sleep before hitting the pavement this morning for my Monday run. If anybody has any topic requests, throw them my way! I'd be happy to indulge and it may help me through this writing slump.
Press on.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
ch-ch-ch-changes
I am grudgingly realizing I may not be able to run the marathon this year. I have not entirely given up the possibility but it is getting closer and closer and my progress is slow slow slow. I'm up to 20 minutes of running now and should be up to 30 minutes at the end of the week. That means I only have...about 4 hours to go...in 2 months. Let's do the math, shall we? In order to avoid injury it is only safe to increase your weekly mileage by 10%. Let's be a bit generous with that percentage because I'm a machine and I don't have the time or patience to be injured anyway. My weekly total this week should be around 10 miles. There are 8 weeks left to train. That should put me around 30 miles the week before M-day with a long run of only around 12 miles, just a few shy of the actual race.
Reality sucks donkey balls.
I feel bad because I originally signed up to run the race with my friend M and I really don't want to let her down. I also got middle wheel to sign up and now I won't be able to run with her either. I fear the biggest letdown will be between me, myself, and I. I am my worst critic, after all. I think in order not to feel like a total failure I'll be forced to give myself credit for the progress I have made since surgery and look forward to Grandma's marathon next June. Yes kids, just because I'm not doing TC doesn't mean all is lost. Grandma's should be a much more reasonable goal and my legs will have healed nicely by then.
Grumble, grumble...I think I just faced reality.
Press on.
Reality sucks donkey balls.
I feel bad because I originally signed up to run the race with my friend M and I really don't want to let her down. I also got middle wheel to sign up and now I won't be able to run with her either. I fear the biggest letdown will be between me, myself, and I. I am my worst critic, after all. I think in order not to feel like a total failure I'll be forced to give myself credit for the progress I have made since surgery and look forward to Grandma's marathon next June. Yes kids, just because I'm not doing TC doesn't mean all is lost. Grandma's should be a much more reasonable goal and my legs will have healed nicely by then.
Grumble, grumble...I think I just faced reality.
Press on.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Fraggle Rock
It always amazes me how our bodies heal. It is also amazing how strong the mind and a positive attitude can be in this process. I've seen it countless times working in a hospital and have experienced it firsthand in my own healing process.
I like to imagine my immune system is made up of thousands of Doozers. You know, those tiny builders from Fraggle Rock. Always working away just so the Fraggles can eat their creations; architecture is meant to be enjoyed, after all. In my case I just pretend there are no Fraggles eating up my healing scaffolding. So every day before I go to bed I mentally dispatch the Doozers and set them to work on making my legs better than before.
So far, it seems to be working. After all, I am up and dancing already!
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Work you cares away,
Dancing's for another day.
Let the Fraggles play,
We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red.
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Fraggle on.
I like to imagine my immune system is made up of thousands of Doozers. You know, those tiny builders from Fraggle Rock. Always working away just so the Fraggles can eat their creations; architecture is meant to be enjoyed, after all. In my case I just pretend there are no Fraggles eating up my healing scaffolding. So every day before I go to bed I mentally dispatch the Doozers and set them to work on making my legs better than before.
So far, it seems to be working. After all, I am up and dancing already!
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Work you cares away,
Dancing's for another day.
Let the Fraggles play,
We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red.
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Fraggle on.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Been Too Long
Sorry for the long delay kids but I have been one busy grrrl. Here are some of the post-op milestones (so far):
1 week post-op: DRIVING! I had to don a "driving shoe" because the giant black boot is not fit for pedal pushing. It felt so free to finally be able to get out of the house on my own terms, roll the windows down, and sing along to my iPod. Additional perks: adding 10-15 minutes to each trip to account for boot removal/strapping on, getting excited to go to the grocery store only to realize I had no way of pushing a cart, grabbing groceries, AND maneuvering my crutches...curses! And finally, the handicap parking pass giving me the best parking spot wherever I go!
1 1/2 weeks post-op: workworkwork. I was so excited to be out of the house that I even picked up extra shifts. We sat around and discussed interesting uses for crutches...sounds like a good blog topic for later...
2 1/2 weeks post-op: suture removal and the "a-ok" to ditch the boots! Doc said "no running today" to which I instantly replied "so that means I can run tomorrow, right?" He just chuckled. That means "yes" to me so the next day I ran 3:30 around the pond next to my apartment. It felt A-mazing!
Today: Ran 5 minutes and walked for ??? maybe an hour. Yikes! Stopped by the karate school to say "hello" and I can't wait to go back to class next week.
The marathon is still a "go." I refuse to quit what I've started so I'm going for it. I'm going to run every day this weekend before my first PT appointment on Monday so if they say no running yet I can say we-ell, I've been running for 5 days and I feel fabulous! You've got to outsmart those conservative healers and prove them wrong, see. Yeah, they have never seen the healing power the likes of me; I've read books on it and the Universe knows I've had plenty of practice!
My cat has grown accustom to my homeboundness these past few weeks and she loudly protests every time I get ready to go out. She is extra extra talkative when I get home as I suppose Rico Valentino is not a very good conversationalist...at least in cat-speak...he's rather fluent in chinchilla and poor Annie Kitty only understands Mrarw-raw-raw, "kitty night-nights," Annie-Kitty! Kitty Annie!, and the shakeshake of her treats. Silly kitty.
I'm posting from work right now but the next time I post from home I have oodles of pictures to share so get yer bandwidth ready!
Press on.
1 week post-op: DRIVING! I had to don a "driving shoe" because the giant black boot is not fit for pedal pushing. It felt so free to finally be able to get out of the house on my own terms, roll the windows down, and sing along to my iPod. Additional perks: adding 10-15 minutes to each trip to account for boot removal/strapping on, getting excited to go to the grocery store only to realize I had no way of pushing a cart, grabbing groceries, AND maneuvering my crutches...curses! And finally, the handicap parking pass giving me the best parking spot wherever I go!
1 1/2 weeks post-op: workworkwork. I was so excited to be out of the house that I even picked up extra shifts. We sat around and discussed interesting uses for crutches...sounds like a good blog topic for later...
2 1/2 weeks post-op: suture removal and the "a-ok" to ditch the boots! Doc said "no running today" to which I instantly replied "so that means I can run tomorrow, right?" He just chuckled. That means "yes" to me so the next day I ran 3:30 around the pond next to my apartment. It felt A-mazing!
Today: Ran 5 minutes and walked for ??? maybe an hour. Yikes! Stopped by the karate school to say "hello" and I can't wait to go back to class next week.
The marathon is still a "go." I refuse to quit what I've started so I'm going for it. I'm going to run every day this weekend before my first PT appointment on Monday so if they say no running yet I can say we-ell, I've been running for 5 days and I feel fabulous! You've got to outsmart those conservative healers and prove them wrong, see. Yeah, they have never seen the healing power the likes of me; I've read books on it and the Universe knows I've had plenty of practice!
My cat has grown accustom to my homeboundness these past few weeks and she loudly protests every time I get ready to go out. She is extra extra talkative when I get home as I suppose Rico Valentino is not a very good conversationalist...at least in cat-speak...he's rather fluent in chinchilla and poor Annie Kitty only understands Mrarw-raw-raw, "kitty night-nights," Annie-Kitty! Kitty Annie!, and the shakeshake of her treats. Silly kitty.
I'm posting from work right now but the next time I post from home I have oodles of pictures to share so get yer bandwidth ready!
Press on.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
POD #3-6
POD #3 - I took my last Percocet yesterday and made it through 2 hours of lecture and 2 hours of lab this morning without so much as a twitch. Things are going much better than anticipated. I finally got to unwrap my legs and take shower today but it was quick as I am quite wobbly without the moon boots. As soon as I upload my camera I'll post the pictures of my incisions. I know, I know, ew but all you fellow medical people can marvel at the fine work :)
POD #4 - FINALLY got out of the house to go to the gym! I tried my best to avoid eye-contact but it gets tough when everyone is staring at you-the gimp on crutches with 2 huge black boots on. Sheesh. I did good, though. Rode the stationary bike for a whopping 20 minutes, stretched (which felt Amazing after lying around all week), and lifted weights! It felt so good to move I can't wait to back again tomorrow...
POD #5 - Today I biked for 30 minutes and hung out with mom, dad, Little Wheel, and Uncle Garry. He made a sweet rice/salsa/tofu thing that was delicious and it felt good to be social for once this week. Oh, and nobody banters like him and Little Wheel...it's an earful to be beholden...and laughed at. Went home and watched "The Amityville Horror" which, to my surprise, was actually quite good-and quite scary. Annie Kitty even gave it two paws up.
POD #6 - Today I woke up early and Dad picked me up to go to the gym again (I'm not allowed to drive yet) and I rode the bike for 40 minutes before lifting weights. My legs started to ache and pinch around minute 32 but I figured they'd be ok for another 8 minutes or so and I was right. They swell up a little after my gym excursions but that's nothing a little ibuprofen and ice can't cure. Felt good to feel strong again. I miss that.
Ok, there's only so much sitting around on my arse I can take. It has gotten quite lonely hanging around my apartment all day and all night with nobody to play Monopoly with but my cat. She's a poor sport and ends up messing up all the pieces. No fun. Rico Valentino (my chinchilla) is also a poor sport and won't even come out to play when Kitty is around. I've watched more movies than one person should watch in a week, seen all the crappy television a girl can handle, played video games until my thumbs hurt, and read hundreds and hundreds of pages. AHASHDFHSEWHEIUD!!! I really do appreciate my mom being here at the beginning of the week and my dad coming to visit but it would be nice to talk to someone else besides myself...I mean, I'm awesome and everything but I'm starting to get on my nerves...
I've already read my entire Chemistry textbook and I'm almost done with my "fun" book, I can't play my violin because it needs to be restrung (again), and I'm missing a string on the guitar, I'm video-gamed out, I'm not hungry, I am sick of the idiot-box, and I can't really go anywhere to do anything about it! Argh! I can't even dance around my apartment properly due to the leg-attachments and that is just no fun at all!
/rant
Press on.
POD #4 - FINALLY got out of the house to go to the gym! I tried my best to avoid eye-contact but it gets tough when everyone is staring at you-the gimp on crutches with 2 huge black boots on. Sheesh. I did good, though. Rode the stationary bike for a whopping 20 minutes, stretched (which felt Amazing after lying around all week), and lifted weights! It felt so good to move I can't wait to back again tomorrow...
POD #5 - Today I biked for 30 minutes and hung out with mom, dad, Little Wheel, and Uncle Garry. He made a sweet rice/salsa/tofu thing that was delicious and it felt good to be social for once this week. Oh, and nobody banters like him and Little Wheel...it's an earful to be beholden...and laughed at. Went home and watched "The Amityville Horror" which, to my surprise, was actually quite good-and quite scary. Annie Kitty even gave it two paws up.
POD #6 - Today I woke up early and Dad picked me up to go to the gym again (I'm not allowed to drive yet) and I rode the bike for 40 minutes before lifting weights. My legs started to ache and pinch around minute 32 but I figured they'd be ok for another 8 minutes or so and I was right. They swell up a little after my gym excursions but that's nothing a little ibuprofen and ice can't cure. Felt good to feel strong again. I miss that.
Ok, there's only so much sitting around on my arse I can take. It has gotten quite lonely hanging around my apartment all day and all night with nobody to play Monopoly with but my cat. She's a poor sport and ends up messing up all the pieces. No fun. Rico Valentino (my chinchilla) is also a poor sport and won't even come out to play when Kitty is around. I've watched more movies than one person should watch in a week, seen all the crappy television a girl can handle, played video games until my thumbs hurt, and read hundreds and hundreds of pages. AHASHDFHSEWHEIUD!!! I really do appreciate my mom being here at the beginning of the week and my dad coming to visit but it would be nice to talk to someone else besides myself...I mean, I'm awesome and everything but I'm starting to get on my nerves...
I've already read my entire Chemistry textbook and I'm almost done with my "fun" book, I can't play my violin because it needs to be restrung (again), and I'm missing a string on the guitar, I'm video-gamed out, I'm not hungry, I am sick of the idiot-box, and I can't really go anywhere to do anything about it! Argh! I can't even dance around my apartment properly due to the leg-attachments and that is just no fun at all!
/rant
Press on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
