Confused Patient: Help me! Help me!
Nurse: What can I help you with sweetie?
Confused Patient: Help, I'm sick and I've gotta get to the hospital!
Nurse: You are in the hospital dear.
Confused Patient: Oh no! I gotta get outta here!
Nurse: You need to stay here until you get better.
Confused Patient: Well then get me some beer!
Nurse: I'm sorry I can't do that.
Confused Patient: Well damn it all!
Press on.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
murder, mayhem, and madness
Perhaps I've been watching too much Law and Order lately, or maybe it's the book I just finished "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" but I have been having the most vicious dreams about all kinds of ways to murder people. Shocking, I know. Yesterday I fitfully awoke, drenched in sweat after slicing up someone as I laughed and laughed and laughed. Each carve was meticulously rendered and laid out as if to showcase each and every transgression. My slowly dying subject simply watched in silent agreement, as if knowing that he deserved it. With each cut of my blade I knew that he did.
Have I finally lost it?
Perhaps it's time to start fighting more often. Obviously I have some aggression that needs to work its way out of my system. I am fearful of sleep this morning but will eventually relenquish myself to its menacing grips.
Press on.
Have I finally lost it?
Perhaps it's time to start fighting more often. Obviously I have some aggression that needs to work its way out of my system. I am fearful of sleep this morning but will eventually relenquish myself to its menacing grips.
Press on.
Monday, August 18, 2008
meh
Dear blog, it has been 13 says since my last entry. Since that time I have run, been to karate, worked like a madwoman, and become a Champion of Norrath...twice. What is my penance?
Let's start with one entry at a time.
I have been rather uninspired as of late which makes it difficult to write. When I feel as though I am doing nothing of note it is hard to get the oomph to...note it.
I was very excited to get back in the karate classroom and teach about a week ago. I even taught the tots and had a blast! It's amazing how much I missed being in front of students and I jumped at the chance to help J out at his school. If money weren't an issue I would be back as an instructor in a heartbeat.
Running has also gone quite well. I am up to 30 minutes three times per week and am doing it pain-free! It is so amazing to me the difference surgery has made in how I feel every time I take a step out there. I get all giddy just thinking about my next run. The dread is gone and the sledgehammers have finally subsided! My goal is to run Grandma's or TC next year. It all depends on my Italy trip and how that will affect my training. Either way I will officially become a marathoner by the end of 2009. Yay!
Been on a few more dates lately and I have to say, if what I've experienced is all the dating pool has to offer then I'll be staying dry thankyouverymuch. I am entirely fed up with the whole process and can't wait until school starts when I'll be too busy to even think about wasting my time with this rubbish.
Well, it's off to bed for me. Got to catch a few hours of sleep before hitting the pavement this morning for my Monday run. If anybody has any topic requests, throw them my way! I'd be happy to indulge and it may help me through this writing slump.
Press on.
Let's start with one entry at a time.
I have been rather uninspired as of late which makes it difficult to write. When I feel as though I am doing nothing of note it is hard to get the oomph to...note it.
I was very excited to get back in the karate classroom and teach about a week ago. I even taught the tots and had a blast! It's amazing how much I missed being in front of students and I jumped at the chance to help J out at his school. If money weren't an issue I would be back as an instructor in a heartbeat.
Running has also gone quite well. I am up to 30 minutes three times per week and am doing it pain-free! It is so amazing to me the difference surgery has made in how I feel every time I take a step out there. I get all giddy just thinking about my next run. The dread is gone and the sledgehammers have finally subsided! My goal is to run Grandma's or TC next year. It all depends on my Italy trip and how that will affect my training. Either way I will officially become a marathoner by the end of 2009. Yay!
Been on a few more dates lately and I have to say, if what I've experienced is all the dating pool has to offer then I'll be staying dry thankyouverymuch. I am entirely fed up with the whole process and can't wait until school starts when I'll be too busy to even think about wasting my time with this rubbish.
Well, it's off to bed for me. Got to catch a few hours of sleep before hitting the pavement this morning for my Monday run. If anybody has any topic requests, throw them my way! I'd be happy to indulge and it may help me through this writing slump.
Press on.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
ch-ch-ch-changes
I am grudgingly realizing I may not be able to run the marathon this year. I have not entirely given up the possibility but it is getting closer and closer and my progress is slow slow slow. I'm up to 20 minutes of running now and should be up to 30 minutes at the end of the week. That means I only have...about 4 hours to go...in 2 months. Let's do the math, shall we? In order to avoid injury it is only safe to increase your weekly mileage by 10%. Let's be a bit generous with that percentage because I'm a machine and I don't have the time or patience to be injured anyway. My weekly total this week should be around 10 miles. There are 8 weeks left to train. That should put me around 30 miles the week before M-day with a long run of only around 12 miles, just a few shy of the actual race.
Reality sucks donkey balls.
I feel bad because I originally signed up to run the race with my friend M and I really don't want to let her down. I also got middle wheel to sign up and now I won't be able to run with her either. I fear the biggest letdown will be between me, myself, and I. I am my worst critic, after all. I think in order not to feel like a total failure I'll be forced to give myself credit for the progress I have made since surgery and look forward to Grandma's marathon next June. Yes kids, just because I'm not doing TC doesn't mean all is lost. Grandma's should be a much more reasonable goal and my legs will have healed nicely by then.
Grumble, grumble...I think I just faced reality.
Press on.
Reality sucks donkey balls.
I feel bad because I originally signed up to run the race with my friend M and I really don't want to let her down. I also got middle wheel to sign up and now I won't be able to run with her either. I fear the biggest letdown will be between me, myself, and I. I am my worst critic, after all. I think in order not to feel like a total failure I'll be forced to give myself credit for the progress I have made since surgery and look forward to Grandma's marathon next June. Yes kids, just because I'm not doing TC doesn't mean all is lost. Grandma's should be a much more reasonable goal and my legs will have healed nicely by then.
Grumble, grumble...I think I just faced reality.
Press on.
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