It was a short two miles today but somehow I had plenty of time to reminisce about life, love, and whether the two shall meet. Now let me set things straight, I believe people are inherently good. I choose to seek out the potential in people, sometimes overlooking the bad. This has gotten me into situations with people who, somewhere along the path of life strayed from their essence to do bad things. Very bad things.
Yet somehow I manage to cling to the belief that we are all good. This stubborn hold on an ideology has unfortunately taken a toll on my heart. When it comes to relationships with men I have found more than my share of those who have strayed. The last person I fell in Love with was nothing but a lying cheat who never had any respect for me. This absolutely boggles my mind! I just don't understand how one can treat another so terrible! It just doesn't compute in my head with my beliefs. If I say I Love someone I Love them. Entirely. There is no lying, no "accidental" straying, no apathy or disrespect, only unconditional Love.
The last person I actually liked and wanted to see more of fed me all the lines I wanted to hear and then disappeared off the face of the earth. I mean who does that? If I say I like someone I mean it, I don't go around spewing shit for no reason. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Is that really such a rare thing these days?
Apparently so.
I am perilously close to losing all hope in manity. So far my crazy notion that adults should honestly, and openly communicate and say what they mean and mean what they say has been proven wrong. Over and over and over.
I haven't checked myself out of the dating world yet but believe me I'm hanging in there by a thread.
Overall it was a productive 2 miles but I must admit I'm feeling a bit sad about the entire subject. I don't want to lose hope. I don't want to lose the part of me that believes in True Love and the sweeping off of feet and the endless oasis in strong embraces...
I guess the only thing to do for now is press on...with caution...
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1 comment:
It's funny how you and I are so similar in so many ways. I myself have actually gone further off into my distaste for the opposite sex. I was actually falling down a bottomless pit, thinking I was to be alone for the rest of my days but something stopped me from my endless fall. It was you, Kristie and I'm glad I reached out and grabbed for your hand. I look forward to getting to know you better as the future becomes today.
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